Yes, well, ehem, that idea of always being able to leave room for my artwork is slowly fleeting away. With work, school, and senate, I do not even have time for sleep.
It has been three days since I actually went to bed at all. Living off aderol and caffinated beverages is not wise, but unfortunately necessary. As I t
ype this, I am still sitting in the library reading biology and hoping that my brain does not turn to mush and ooze out of my ears.
In other news, my ex has a girlfriend. I shuddered, then giggled, then shuddered again.
Life is becoming incredibly difficult. Goodness, I cannot wait for our "circle" to spend a bit of lazy, do nothing at all but get wasted, quality time with one another.
Bio. must do bio.
My bottom hurts because I have been sitting on it too long. I think I will take this time to have a well deserved cigarette. Excitement.
I know.

yeah remember how college is for whores?
it most certainly is.
i miss being back home. not home home of course because i havent gotten that desperate at least not yet.
i miss my friends really. that is all. i miss feeling loved.
school is sort of shitty. and awesome. all rolled into one.
does that make sense. i dont think so either.
senate is taking up a lot of my time. a lot.
but i love doing it. so it is alright.
things with people here are quite stressful. some of the people.
others are wonderfully awesome.
i am done rambling. pointless rambling is time consuming and i have so many other things to do.
well not really.
i am just annoying myself at this point.

college is for whores.

Sorry.
i vanished for a few weeks.
There was a lot going on around here and i had absolutely no time for anything other than school and tennis.
I visited Gustavus this last week and spent a few days touring the school and meeting the tennis team. It seems quite likely that i will be going there.
Highschool has remained the same.
awful and unpleasant.
i am really making a concious effort to stay engrossed in my educational experience, but i recieve hardly any stimulation in that environment.
my friends keep me interested and interesting.
Study hall with Brittany is the best.
and there is food. always there is food.
I should really be working on a psych project which is due tomorrow. dominic and i arent exactly organized. i love having him in class with me, especially that class. because my teacher. is. a. fruit. (the 'one fry short of a happy meal' kind of fruit).
As for artwork, i have absolutely no inspiration or time or motivation etc. etc. if there is one thing i am good at, it is making excuses.
I will try and put something up this weekend, but frankly, i am not
optimistic.
i have about 20 billion new deviations to look through and comment on and fav (mainly because everyone on my devwatch is an amazing artist), so i think i will do that now.

so i say.
chou.

John and I.

are over.

He lied one to many times. He was stupid one to many times. There is a point in every relationship where you ask yourself if you can see a future with this person. I thought i saw that in him, and i risked a lot of things so that he and i could stay together.
i am so sick of going all the way. love is a two way street. i want to be in a relationship with someone whose actions reflect their words. i dont need to be mistreated and disrespected constantly by pathetic boys who are rude and obnoxious to me. somehow i always manage to allow myself to sink to their levels. These highschool-drop out addicts who have little more intelligence than a doorknob. i want to be with someone who i can build a future with. someone who i can hold an intelligent conversation with.
is that really all that much to ask for?
no.
i dont believe it is.